Thinking about what I really want and wish for is really exhausting. I’m tired of hoping (against hope). I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a single bit.
This is what I’ve concluded:
Perhaps childhood stories of ‘And they lived happily ever after’ seem better left unread in childrens’ books. Perhaps pictures of edenic forests and unblemished skies seem better left unseen. Perhaps dreams of simple and surreal joy seem better left… undreamt.
Isn’t it so?
Everyday is a battlefield in the mind. Every second, every minute every hour, we’re fighting a war against ourselves. Still, I’ve never thought life could be so complicating. Every fight is so taxing. Everything that is happening to me right now is just beyond my comprehension. Too complexed. But as with all things, perhaps I am where I’m meant to be. Maybe all this is for something better, that I’ll get my footing and emerge stronger, and hopefully wiser.
It’ll be difficult, especially since there’s so much going on that merely thinking about it makes my head go numb. But I’ve gotta keep on trying as always. There’s so much that I’ve been blessed with. There’s so much more that I could focus on. There’s so much more to life, isn’t it?
I’m still searching for the answer to life’s questions.
